Heb. 12:11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

We learn here a bit of the definition of the term, “Discipline.” Discipline is by definition painful. If it isn’t painful to the body then it isn’t biblical discipline. Parents are not to evoke tears in their children through humiliating them, verbally condemning them, yelling at them, scaring them, or any other form of “hurting their feelings.” Tears are to be evoked from the physical pain of the discipline.

This is generally difficult for mothers who are designed by God to be more nurturing and tender. Be glad God made you tender. But, don’t let that natural tendency keep you from administering faithful discipline. This would kill your kids softly. This neglect would cause what we might call grown up pain later in life.

Moreover, upon administering the swift, measured, and appropriate level of pain, comfort and encouragement should be given. (Proverbs. 3:11-12). The child should not be banished from the family until they, “learn their lesson.” They should not feel the psychological pain of a dad’s ogre-like wrath for the next 4 hours because he’s, “disappointed in them.” It is these evil and ugly tendencies that give biblical discipline a bad name. They have zero to do with God or his Word.

When God disciplines you and I, he does not banish us. He does not draw away from us. He is very near. In fact, he is often more near than we would like and certainly more near than we deserve. He does not move his imputed righteousness from us and is never disgusted with us. He delights in his children, even when disciplining them. Moreover, he at no time fails to be comforting and understanding with us. He gets it. He knows our weaknesses and he—even in discipline—even when it hurts—is compassionate and affectionate toward us. (Prov. 103:13-14)

Go and do likewise.